Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
