YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
