i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You need Xanax blowdarts
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
