Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
