bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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