it's too hot outside to masturbate.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
