Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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