i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
