every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
