the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
