I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
