she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
