I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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