I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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