Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
