Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
