C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
