handjob tips. give me some.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
