I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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