I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
