Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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