can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
