seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
