Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
try to milk me bitch
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