Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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