Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
