We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
there is glitter all over my balls
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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