so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
