I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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