I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
