I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We have so much sex to catch up on
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
