a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize
