Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He? As in you personified your dick?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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