absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
