I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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