I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
