tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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