he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
