Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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