dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
