one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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