Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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