she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
