If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
my liver is dry heaving
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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