Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize