I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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