it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
