I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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