No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
