R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
we made out on top of his cat.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
