you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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